Mandy Dollar- Mini Project #4

It took me a while to write this project. I thought and thought, and racked my brain to come up with someone in my life who should be famous but isn’t. I guess I found it so difficult, because for most of my life, I have been that person to everyone else. For years I have had everyone from family members to friends to strangers bombard me with questions as to why I wasn’t pursuing “American Idol” or some other fame-seeking venture. I guess that’s why this issue is so difficult for me- because I am the person who people see as someone who should be famous.

I guess I should start by saying that I have always been in front of an audience in one way or another. I started acting when I was 3 at my mother’s request (so that I wouldn’t develop stage fright). Little did my mother know where it would lead.

I acted throughout high school (I was even named class thespian), landing all of the leads in every musical and children’s theatre performance. My auditions for theatre landed me a spot training with a voice coach which further allowed me to study opera for all 4 years of high school. Even then, I never really let it be known that I could sing. Sure, my friends and family knew, as well as anyone who went to see the performances, but all in all, it was a secret to much of the student body and I liked it that way.

During my senior year I was caught in a conundrum. Everyone wanted me to go to school for voice and performance, but I still wasn’t sure that I was ready to pursue that path. I decided to split my applications: half of them were to performing arts schools and the other half where to state schools. I got into some of the best performing arts schools in the country and knew that I had a tough decision to make. I decided that I wasn’t 150% sure that I wanted to perform, so I ended up going to the University of Connecticut- a school I knew nothing about and that was anything but the “Berklee”s and the “Eastman”s that had previously been shoved down my throat. My voice coach was devastated. So much so that he stopped speaking to me. While my parents were always 200% supportive, I had other family members who were shocked that I wasn’t “living up to my potential”. “God had given me a gift”, they would say. I just couldn’t see myself being locked in practice rooms for hours at a time practicing scales and learning arias that bored me to no end. I knew I needed a break, and more importantly, I knew I wouldn’t be happy.

I ended up going into UConn, entering as a business major- the ultimate rebellion. That lasted all of two weeks once I saw how much math was involved in the curriculum. I eventually found myself in the School of Fine Arts once again, but this time on my own terms. I was in the Theatre Studies program, with a focus in acting, but eventually moved away from performance and into the marketing and PR end of the theatre, which is something I have always wanted to do. Even in college, I found myself performing and built a pretty substantial fan base. I enjoyed expressing myself, but only up to a point. It was never anything that I really wanted to pursue full time. Of course, I found myself in the same situation I was in during my high school years. My friends never really understood why I wasn’t pursuing an acting/ music career, which is an argument we find ourselves in even to this day.

As far as my reactions go, I have realized that when I was in character or prepared for people to question me (say after a show or performance), I was more comfortable talking about my abilities because it was the proper environment. However, when I am out of that environment, say at a bar or at work, and someone brings up the fact that I used to sing, I find myself extremely uncomfortable. I turn bright red and want to change the subject as soon as possible. Most of this, I realized, is because of frustration. It is hard to make someone understand why you chose the path that you chose, so I simply avoid putting myself in that situation to begin with. You become two people when you are a performer- there is the stage “you” and the real “you”. Sometimes you just have to figure out which one is more important, no matter what people say.